If you are a partner in an unplanned pregnancy, there are important things for men to know.
The first thing you need to do is determine whether or not she is pregnant and learn about your options.
To help show your support, go with her for the pregnancy test appointment. If she is pregnant, then she is already being overwhelmed by hormonal changes that can have a great effect on her. Having your support will reassure her that you care.
My Choices provides pregnancy testing services, along with many support services, which are free of charge and confidential to the extent allowed by state law.
We are here to help both of you come to an informed decision.
Because it is her body that will carry and birth the baby, the law places the decision in her hands. Your respect and consideration will help her trust you, building the relationship you need in this important time.
Men, there’s never been a more important time than now to stand up and take part in your pregnant partner’s life. She needs to know that you care and you are ready to walk through this with her.
My Choices can help you in a variety of ways. We offer classes on pregnancy, parenting and other practical topics as well as countless referrals to helpful organizations. We also assist with maternity clothes, baby furniture, diapers, baby food, etc.
You are not alone in supporting her through this pregnancy.
Here’s some quick advice that may be of benefit to you right now:
- Stay Calm. She needs your support now more than ever. She may be the one carrying a baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you, too.
- Talk about it. Not only with each other, but prepare to talk with parents and others you trust. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases the stress, and you need the support.
- Listen. The situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.
- Gather all the facts. Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for both of you.
- Express yourself honestly. It’s normal to have feelings of anger, frustration, and fear. Be careful not to “dump” your emotions on her.
- Work together. Make sure she knows she is not alone. This changes both of your lives. You both created the situation you are in, and the best outcome will come from working together respectfully.
- Don’t bail. The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.
- Don’t pressure her. Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. You will do well to work together as a team.
Remember you are an important part of this situation. Stay involved!